What if you don’t have to explain a NO?

Some people think it’s rude to just say no.To say a no, without an explanation. They think it’s way much better to link an explanation to the no.
What if you tried to just say no. And notice what happens inside.

How many times have I tried to motivate a no?
How many times have I, when failing to find a good reason for the no, ended up saying yes.
How many times have I done that, not to be rude, and to be seen as friendly?
Innumerable times, I would say.

First of all. Sometimes, STILL, it’s difficult for me to say no. Particularly if I meet a needy person whose whole energy says: I need your help. And I know that when I say a yes from a space of pity, insecurity or fear, I am saying no to myself. To not be seen as rude, and to have the right to belong, I’ve done that so many times.

Practice makes the master, so I practice. And I say a no more often. Choosing myself and my needs or wishes. And then I can practice one step further.

Would you like to join us for dinner?
I need a hand in the garden, this weekend, could you come over?

No, I need to visit mum…

No, I am busy working…

No, but I really would have wanted to, but…
And here, in the explanation phase, many trips, and start lying… often calling it white lies…

The reason for the no might be: I don’t want to. And that is seldom said, because to say that could be seen as aggressive or at least rude.
What if the least brutal is to just say no.

When I started practicing just saying no, it sometimes raised fear inside. What will the person think of me, if I don’t have an explanation for a no.

So why not try a little game.

Just practice to say no, without explanation, to see what happens with you.

Choose something simple … but not overly simple. I mean: If you ask me if I want another cup of coffee, a plain no is accepted…

Say no.
Take a few breaths and close your eyes.
What is happening inside you?
What are your impulses?
What do you learn about yourself?

Lots of love from your Swedish love warrior.