What if innocence is the ultimate beauty?

Me in the time of innocence

In 1748 John Cleveland wrote ”Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure” nowadays known as Fanny Hill.
And when I grew up in the 1970s the book was one of thousand of books in my parents bookshelves.
As a pre teen I took the book into my yellow room, lay in bed and started to read. And there was a movement in my body I didn’t recognize. Decades later I realized that this reading was one of my first meeting with my own desire. Even if I didn’t act on it at the time. I just enjoyed reading the book, and noticing this tingling in my body.

And when I remember myself then, I would like to embrace my innocence. And I would like that as many as possible could have this experience of innocence and desire. The softness of the innocence.

Today the main teacher when it comes to sexual exploration is porn. Parents often chicken out. Teachers talk about dangers connected to arousal and sexuality. It’s mostly about advices about not becoming pregnant or catching a sexually transmitted disease. It’s little or nothing around desire, about feelings, about being in love, the beauty in kissing or making out.

I often come back to this. It’s like we create a world where our sexuality is placed in the shame corner. And when we don’t address this vital power in us, we give space for pain and guilt.

When adults refuse to talk about sexuality, they open the door to other teachings. And they feed the idea that sexuality is something we don’t mention, or hide under the blanket.

What if we can look at our desire and see more than risks? What if we can look at the beauty in exploring this power inside? What if we can teach our children about what happens in our bodies when we caress or being caressed? What if we learn them about oxytocin? What if we learn them a bit about dopamin, its glory and the traps what might follow getting dopamin kicks? What if we learn them about presence? What if we learn them about the beauty and function of the body? What if we talk about compassion? What if we learn our children to look at themselves with kindness? What if we learn them to trust themselves and try out their boundaries? What if we start seeing sexuality as something amazing, rather than a threat.

When we chose to leave the field of intimacy and relating yo our young, are we not making it extremely hard for them? We know that anyone with a tablet or phone can find answers in a second. And in what age are we able to value the information or the pictures we see? I guess it’s fairly simple to see the persons staring in porn as role models, or their activity as the ”normal” and something to strive for?

This is not an anti porn argument, it’s more like: Why do we escape from the responsibility to guide our young into a life of live, sound relationships, working boundaries, and presence. To see a person in love is among the most beautiful you could see. To see them look into each others eyes, to watch them holing sweaty hands, to hear them whisper to each other, to hear the giggle between the lovers… And also to remind yourself of the first kiss, the first embrace, the first energy burst, the first time you had fire in your system, the first making out…

And also telling them about your own experiences of falling in love, being in love, taking your time, loving the preciousness of the slow igniting of bodily pleasures.

How would you like to contribute to a revival of innocence?