What would happen in a world where love and intimacy was important for real?

Sometimes I have the fantasy that world leaders (of any gender) would be sensually caressed, and taken to bliss, being served and massaged, being seen as human beings, without any roles to play or masks to wear.  They get imbued by oxytocin, compassion, empathy and caring. 

And in my fantasy that transforms them, into beings that lead from compassion and love, and who says that love is the core pillar in our society.

And then I sort of wake up, and see something else. I see a society where I sense more fear than love in our leaders, and in most of us. It’s like we are trained to become fear-based.

What if we now and again could sing the ancient Beatles-tune ”All you need is love”… even knowing that is a simplification?

My experience is that we really need love, and not just as a metaphor, not just as being compassionate with ourselves and others. I am talking about the act of making love, of being friends with our bodies, of learning as much as possible about pleasure, and how to feel it, how to give it to a loved one, and  - also important - letting go of shame, when it comes to sexuality and intimacy.

I think it would be good for many of us (not to generalize, there are of course people who are not interested in this aspect of life) to learn more about our bodies, about desire, and about the wide range of possible ways of orgasming.

What would happen in a persons life, if pleasure would be a natural part of the day? What would happen if we were more pleased with our lives? How would we treat ourselves and others, if we knew our sexuality and could talk about it without shame?

And what is the mechanisms that make two lovers turning into a family company, aimed at raising a family, building a house, and having a beautiful car parked outside … and sort of forgetting bodily pleasures or looking at love making as something ”we need to do every second week to fulfill the contract”.

I hear so many people saying that they don’t have time for intimacy and sex, saying they are too tired, saying that they cannot talk to their partner about their longings to be seen, held and loved.

What if you start to make pleasure and intimacy to something really important in your life? Something that you (and your partner) prioritize.

In the beginning of a relationship, you will have some hormonal help to get into the mood. Later, you might need to work a little on it - please do that. It’s worth it.

One of the reasons I call myself a love warrior, is that choose love on a daily basis. To me sexuality, pleasure and intimacy is important, vitalizing, fun, and it makes me more happy and playful.

Charlotte Cronquist is the Swedish love warrior

Love is the answer